Scarlet
by britt-writes-shit
Summary: Months after the suicide mission and dropping Cerberus from her life, Miranda Lawson seems to have another problem. That problem being coming to terms with her feelings toward the one and only Commander Fallon Shepard. Will it work out how she wants or will she just be wasting her breath?
1. Chapter 1

AN: Greetings! After literally tearing my heart out over how perfect Miranda Lawson is, and trying not to cry over how my FemShep can't be with her, I decided to write this. I got the title name from a song, Scarlet by In This Moment, and the whole fic is loosely based around that song as well. Listen to it and you'll figure out where this is going. I don't own anything except Fallon, of course.

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Ex-Cerberus operative, wanted by the Alliance militia and god knows who else. No one would want that baggage, not that she would allow anyone to even attempt to accept said baggage. She couldn't even allow anyone to get close enough to let her guard down. Ever since she escaped Henry Lawson with her sister Oriana, Miranda hasn't been able to trust anyone but herself and her sibling. From that lack of trust with anyone, she grew cold. She stayed a frigid, manipulative woman for years. Even as she worked with The Illusive Man, she was cut off from everyone. That was, until she met a certain someone. Commander Fallon Shepard, first human spectre, saviour of the citadel, member of the first and only crew to go through the Omega 4 Relay and come back alive. The one person who managed to tear down Miss Lawson's defenses and make her truly smile. Shepard meant more to Miranda than she could even admit out loud. But it had been a while since the two spoke and she would never just outright say it after all this time. What if Shepard found someone else while she was on Earth? Or maybe she just shut out everyone to focus on the Reapers? Either way, Miranda could never just say it. Say how much Shepard meant to her. That she loved-

Miranda shook her head furiously, trying to push the half-finished sentence from her mind. Love? Never. Niket was the closest thing she had to love and she was fucked over in the end. She would never leave herself so vulnerable and open for someone to only wound her. She groaned, sitting up in the chair she recently claimed in the Citadel docking bay's lounge-like area. She frequented this spot specifically because the Normandy often used this docking bay, and Miranda hoped to see the Commander.

"Stupid idea," she mutters to herself, "why would Shepard just appear here anyway? She's busy with the war." Crossing her arms, Miranda sunk back into the seat and began to drum her fingers on her elbows.

As if on cue, the Normandy strode into her designated docking bay and was secured. Miranda jolts from her spot and quick runs her fingers through her hair, hoping to be presentable. The Commander strolls out of her ship, grinning from ear to ear as she walks toward the elevator.

N7 jacket adorned whimsically, her red hair barely run through with a brush, but she didn't have a care in the world. How could she be so happy? Whilst walking, she looks over the lounge to observe the usual people. Her eyes glance over something out of place but keeps walking. Miranda frowns, not being noticed. Then, Shepard stops and spins on her heels, facing the raven haired beauty.

"Miranda?" she asks, not sure if what she's seeing is real. Miranda nods, the corners of her mouth slipping upward. Fallon Shepard sprints to her longtime friend and throws her arms around the woman, laughing. Miranda joins in the laughter as the Commander picks her up off her feet and swings her around.

"Shepard let me go," she squeaks, still laughing. Fallon stops, letting her friend go, and glares at her. She wags her finger in front of Miranda's face, shaking her head. Rolling her eyes, Miranda smiles fully now, looking over the woman she lov- admires. The woman she admires.

Smirking, Fallon watches Miss Lawson's eyes scan her body, "Whoa now, Miri," the nickname she hasn't been called in so long makes her heart flutter, "miss me a little?" Miranda punches the spectre's arm, cheeks turning a light shade of pink. Is it that obvious? But, she has changed so much.

Fallon has more scars, her eyes are darker. She seems more rigid than before. Miranda finds herself raising her hand to caress the soldier's face, fingers tracing over various scars. Old scars she's seen before, she feels warmth with their familiarity, but almost winces as she moves over to new ones. Shepard just grins, enjoying her former crewmates' reaction to her little trophies of war.

"You need to stop this, Fallon," Miranda's eyes begin to well up with tears, "I brought you back once. I can't do it again." Fallon moves forward to comfort her friend, reaching to grab her hand. Lawson's hand wraps around the Commander's and the two freeze. Miranda's eyes widen, surprised and scared. What is going on?

"Hey," Fallon whispers, her free hand wiping a stray tear that managed to break the barrier, "I'll be okay. I'm Commander Shepard, I'll survive this." She promised this before, before the suicide mission. She survived. Of course she survived this, there wasn't a chance in hell Shepard would die on Miranda Lawson's watch.

She only nods in response, sniffling to try and calm down. She looks to the red-haired woman before her, silent. Shepard rubs Miranda's arm while squeezing her hand affectionately. Miranda tries to smile, tries to feel happy, to feel comfort in the gesture. But she can't. She can't pretend like everything is okay when humanity and life as they knew it was on the brink of extinction. She can't act on these feelings of love when it's about to be the apocalypse.

"Why don't you come back with me to the Normandy," Fallon suggests, her voice hopeful, "besides, it'd be better if you did. You'd be out of public eye." Miranda let out a strangled laugh, still saddened by the possible outcome of this stupid war. Fallon's brow furrows in confusion, did she say something wrong?

Miranda shakes her head, waving off her random bit of laughter, "You sound like you're going to keep me your dirty little secret." As she finishes the sentence, she regrets it. Looking down to the metal floor, she sucks her bottom lip between her teeth. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Mentally beating herself up, she refuses to look anywhere but down.

Then Fallon chuckles.

"I suppose you're right, Miri," the nickname again, "but something tells me you wouldn't mind that." The Commander grins her stupid grin that makes Miranda's heart flutter and wraps her arm around the former XO.


	2. Chapter 2

"Do you remember that time on shore leave that you-" Fallon couldn't manage to keep her laughing fit under control to finish her sentence. Miranda just nodded, leaning over onto Shepard as the two could barely save themselves from their fit.

"Me? What about you?" She asks, trying to stand up straight, "You could barely keep your eyes off me in that black suit." She stuck her tongue out to add to her mocking. Fallon could only shrug, smiling at the memory of seeing Miss Lawson in her skintight black and orange Cerberus uniform for the first time. Crossing her arms over her chest, she leans back on the elevator wall. Miranda looks to her feet, what else to talk about now?

Shepard clears her throat, breaking herself out of her thoughts, "You wouldn't still have the suit, would you?" Wiggling her eyebrows as a bonus to the question caused Miranda to immediately go back to laughing.

Just as the elevator reached the ship, the intercom sounded. "Uh, Commander, you are aware I can hear you, right?" Fallon rolls her eyes as the elevator doors finally open and they walk out onto the ship. She jumps into the pilot's cabin and knocks the infamous Jeff Moreau on the head. He flinches, only to cause EDI to chuckle. Miranda stood still at the elevator door, poking her head around the corner to watch Fallon's antics. The two were like brother and sister, which had initially annoyed the once XO when she came onto the ship. She felt threatened by the man's comments to Shepard, thinking the two were once romantic. Thankfully, that wasn't the case.

"Be nice to me, Jeff," Shepard whines, "serious business." Joker stood from the chair to see what this business was. As his eyes connected with Miranda's, the two jumped. He looked back to his Commander only to be given a slight nod.

"Lawson, eh?" He smirks, "I wasn't expecting to see anyone from Cerberus back on my ship." Fallon went to smack the pilot but instead opted for pinching the bridge of her nose. Miranda steps from behind the wall to walk toward her friends.

She links her arms with Fallon and gives Jeff a light smile, "Good to see you too, Joker." He only grins, rather happy to see another familiar face onboard. Since the Omega 4 Relay, everyone grew distant. Joker knew how close Fallon had tried to make her crew a family, knowing everyone just went off in different directions almost ruined her. Bringing Miranda back onto the ship must mean the old gang is coming together.

The three awkwardly stood together, the Commander and Miranda's arms still together. "Well," Fallon finally spoke, "I'll just go show Miranda around."

Joker leans onto his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. He nods, as if he were allowing the two to go off. "Be safe, kids," he spoke as the two spun around to leave. Shepard's face grows red, causing Miranda to bite her tongue to suppress her laughter.

Fallon mentally scolds herself as the two women pass Traynor at her station and approach the elevator. How could she manage to act so childish right now? Getting embarrassed over Joker's stupid ass comment? For Christ's sake. She is a spectre. Spectres don't get embarrassed. Miranda unlinks her arm from Fallon's, stepping into yet another elevator. Fallon quickly follows her, like a puppy at the master's heel. Why is this happening? Shepard's green eyes flicker from the metal floor of her temporary entrapment to Miranda's black and white suit, one she remembers fondly from countless missions on many planets. How it would blur past her to cover, over said cover, and blasting thermal clips into Blue Suns members. Her eyes drag upward, looking over the dark hair that cascades over her shoulders and down her back. That hair that seems so perfect every second of the day, except for the time Shepard saw it sticking up everywhere as the genetically perfect woman's face was planted on her desk, asleep.

The elevator slides open revealing just Shepard's cabin door, as usual. Fallon feels herself pull forward, exiting before Miranda. She opens the door to her private cabin then turns to her guest, dipping into a bow.

"You're such an ass, Fallon," Miranda remarks, entering the cabin. Fallon says nothing until the door slides closed behind the two. Lawson makes her way to the couch that lines the wall, sitting in the corner. She holds her hands on her lap, looking about the room. It had been a while since she had been in here. Mainly to give Shepard papers to fill out and to ask how she was feeling, always constantly observing the woman that had previously been dead.

She recalls one time she had barged into the cabin to argue about how Fallon managed to piss off the Illusive Man during their prior meeting in the communications room. Instead of finding the Commander hunched over her desk, she found the woman's bare back facing her. She had just gotten a shower, redressing. Miranda's breath caught in her throat recalling the memory of Fallon Shepard's skin. Toned muscles, scarred skin, begging to be touched. She had apologised and immediately escaped from the room, feeling the temperature seem to rise in her suit. That one moment was possibly the tipping point of realising her feelings for her leader. But she couldn't let that be known. Never. She kept it to herself, and still does.

"Miranda?" Fallon's voice brings her out of her thoughts, "are you even listening to me?" Her eyes focus on Shepard, holding out a glass containing blue alcohol. Shepard's special. She accepts the glass and raises it up to her lips, wanting to completely drain the glass in one gulp. This is so stupid, how could a schoolyard crush bother her so much? Was Shepard feeling the same? What about the exchange between Joker and her prior? Was she blushing on the way to the elevator?

Once again snapping out of her thoughts, Miranda took a sip from her glass. The alcohol tickles her lips, the bubbles fizzing down her throat as she swallows the beverage. She never knew what exactly was in the glass, never bothered to ask before. Shepard always drank it, so why shouldn't she?

"It's nice to have you here, Miranda." Fallon barely says, not making eye contact for some reason. She places herself next to the other woman, not wanting to cross over into her personal space. The two sat in an awkward silence for a couple seconds until Shepard puts her glass on the table in front of them, empty.

Shepard turns to face Miranda, her hands on either side of her lap to brace herself for some incoming impact. "I've got to be honest with you," she states, "I've always admired you. No matter what you did, you kicked ass and made sure everyone knew it." The corners of the brunette's mouth curved up just a bit, smiling at what Fallon said. In an effort to lean more toward the Commander, Miranda's hands brush Fallon's. Just like earlier, the spectre allows the touch and turns her hand over to grasp Miranda's. The two smile at the light embrace.

Miranda Lawson never really thought she was destined to call some place "home", until now. When she agreed to help rebuild Commander Fallon Shepard, she found home. After saving the Commander's ass countless times on the field, she knew she had a home. Her home was Shepard.

"Thank you, Miranda," Shepard almost whispers, her gaze locks on her hand locked with the other woman's, "You always saw me through my jobs. You gave me a second chance at life. I don't even know how to thank you. I'm sorry I never thanked you before."

"It's always my job to make sure you succeed, Shepard," she smiles softly, thumbs running over the back of the Commander's hands, "You don't need to thank me." Shepard squeezes Miranda's hand in hers, looking up from their joint hands to the woman beside her.

In the midst of what was starting to be a memorable time, something has to ruin it. "Sorry to interrupt Commander," the British woman's voice carries through the room, causing both Shepard and Miranda to freeze. "But we have a bit of a problem. Grissom Academy is under attack." Fallon looks to Miranda, her eyes begging her forgiveness. Miranda just nods, slipping her hand from Shepard's grasp. Shepard stands, quickly running to the cabinet with her armour and various guns.

"Traynor," Shepard barks, her authoritative voice kicking in, "Plot a course directly to Grissom Academy. I want to get there before anything else happens." Throwing open the doors of the cabinet, Fallon puts her N7 armour on, tossing the helmet on her bed. She pulls her M-8 Avenger and her M-27 Scimitar, securing them to her back. She looks over everything else, thinking of what else to bring. Not finding anything, she turns around to grab her helmet.

"You know, I've seen you in this damn thing more than anything," Miranda holds Fallon's helmet in her hands, examining the black casing, "I never had a serious helmet. It would mess up my hair." She tosses her helmet to Fallon, laughing at her own comment. Shepard shakes her head, catching the helmet.

Before finally putting on the last piece of her combat attire, she looks to Miranda, "You okay with staying in here?" With a nod as a response, she smiles. After finally slipping the helmet on, she goes to the door.

Just as the door slides open, Miranda wraps her arms around her own torso. "Be careful out there, Fallon." Shepard doesn't respond or stop, perhaps she didn't hear her. She hopes she did, though. Placing herself on the edge of Fallon's bed, she stares at the door, waiting.

Looking to the floor, she finds the Commander's N7 jacket. Smiling to herself, she reaches down and grabs it from the floor. Holding the jacket up to her nose, she inhales the spectre's scent. The jacket looks to be too huge for Miranda to wear normally, but she fits herself inside it with ease. Flipping the hood up, she snuggles into the warmth and scent of what she pretends is Fallon while silently praying to any and every holy entity that Cerberus isn't too much.


End file.
